and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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