Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
