TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize