Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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