Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
