A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
