A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
