nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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