thus making me awesome and them whores
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
My ass is underappreciated
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize