she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
