Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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