Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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