Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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