high people should be assigned attendants
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize