So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
