I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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