Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
