I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
