pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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