at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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