HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
