look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize