I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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