Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Randomize
