Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize