My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i dont even know how to be here
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Randomize
