He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
