no, he came in my armpit
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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