You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
