I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
