so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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