Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
