i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
