In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
