I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
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