please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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