you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
