Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
