The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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