Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
