11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
operation harelip BJ is a go
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize