are you so shy because you have an std?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
So many bounce houses so little time
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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