is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
