the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
