Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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