We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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