I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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