You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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