Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
