you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
