I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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