Reggie can tackle my bush.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
