You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
