Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
