omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I stole a fireplace last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
